Love umbrellas, but hate holding them? Consider the Shoulderbrella, a tube that wraps around your upper body to hold the umbrella in place. All you have to do is remove the cap at the end of the tube, and stick the end of your umbrella inside. This strikes me as one of those inventions that’d be perfect if it weren’t for one glaring problem. In this case, you’ve got to wrap the Shoulderbrella around yourself in a such a way that it stands perfectly upright, and who wants to do that when the rain is pouring down? If this doesn’t deter you, and you’re in Japan, the Shoulderbrella is yours for 2,499 yen, or roughly $26. [Hands-Net via Red Ferret]

In an ongoing effort to get parents to part ways with cash on new gadgets that their children don’t really need but just have to have, Dell and Nickelodeon have tag-teamed on this Inspiron Mini Nickelodeon Edition netbook. Complete with oozing slime, the Nickelodeon Edition is based on Dell’s Mini10v. Not much details on specs was released, but it’s likely we’ll see the standard Intel Atom N270 processor and 1GB RAM. Luckily, on doesn’t really buy a Nickelodeon netbook for specs anyway–the netbook brings Nickelodeon-based interface, early access to some Nickolodeon episodes, a 15-month trial of McAfee Family Security helping parents maintain control over their children’s usage and plenty of educational applications to stimulate children’s minds in ways that Nickelodeon shows will never do. In addition to the slime-themed model pictured, other themes being worked on include SpongeBob SquarePants and iCarly. Avaibility is expected for October at Walmart and Dell’s online store. [via Engadget]

Not content with merely banging out tunes on his laptop alone, electronic musician Calvin Harris enlisted 15 bikini models and a bucket of conductive paint to help recreate one of his songs. With support from Sony Music UK and Bare conductive body ink, Harris rigged a a series of patches in Max/MSP and Ableton Live that trigger when a model closes a circuit with her hands or feet. With everyone smeared up and standing around, it’s hard to see how this would come together, but hit the jump and you’ll find a perfectly servicable version of Harris’ “Ready for the Weekend.” The happily dancing bikini models do make the song a little better. [via Engadget]

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Growing up, I was never a huge fan of Etch-A-Sketch because the possibilities seemed so limited. Had the toy drawn in three dimensions, like the Sketch-3D, I probably would’ve shown more interest — or started using psychedelics at an early age. The Sketch-3D, by designer and technologist Andrew Sliwinski, runs two applications, one for the controls and one for the display. With the Unity game development environment, distance between red and blue lines simulates the human eye. Add a pair of old-school 3D bicolor glasses, and you’re staring into an endless tunnel of hand-drawn lines. No word on where to enjoy this mind-freeing experience, unfortunately. [ThisAndAgain via Gizmodo]

You know what’s dangerous? Crossing a city street while checking e-mail, sending text messages or following directions on a map. Perhaps augmented reality glasses from Lumus Optical are safer, as they let you process all that information while looking straight ahead. It’s pretty simple tech: the display is generated on the bridge of the glasses, then reflected onto a special surface on the inside of each lens. Lumus says this comes in handy for reading e-mail and sending text messages, or even playing video games “inconspicuously during meetings,” or for giving speeches without looking at your notes (but, of course, with a set of clunky spectacles on your head). The company hopes to have the technology out in 2010. [Lumus via BB Gadgets]

The problem with conventional tasers, obviously, is that you can only incapacitate one poor, pleading, defenseless individual at a time. But by stacking tasers together in the Shockwave modular system, you can “instantaneously incapacitate multiple personnel within the field of deployment coverage.” In other words, don’t go within 25 feet of this monstrosity or you’re in for a shock. The charge can be triggered from 100 meters away, and several Shockwaves can be chained together to cover large areas during a riot. If only they had this when Jackass was filming. For pricing, you have to call toll-free to speak with a “specialist,” whom I imagine would commit you to a mental clinic if you started asking about tying this to your car’s front bumper. [TASER via DVice]

You know how, when skiing, they tell you to lean forward? Well, if you ever find yourself skating down a roller coaster, with track-hugging roller blades strapped to your feet, the same logic applies. That’s presumably how German inline speed skater Dirk Auer survived skating down an 860-meter (roughly 2,812 feet) roller coaster in 60 seconds, beating his old record. The skates reportedly took Auer 110 hours to make, and when he finally took them to the slopes, so to speak, he reached speeds of 56 miles per hour. For Auer, that’s nothing — he once hit 190 miles per hour on roller skates, dragged behind a Porsche GT. And I thought hoisting my arms in the air during the loop-de-loop was extreme.

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